What throws you off more than not knowing? Not knowing what comes next, not knowing where you are going, and not knowing how to get there.
I’m not talking about surprises, taking the wrong turn or spur of the moment adventures. I mean the lost feeling that is all too familiar following the end of something.
Sometimes this feeling takes us by surprise, like when you are at work one day and you realize this is not where you belong, and this is not what you are supposed to be doing. You can feel it. Deep within. In the fibers of your bones, you know the passion you once had is gone, and it isn’t coming back. When you wake up one day and the person who you thought was the love of your life, who’s presence would always comfort you, suddenly makes you so uncomfortable. In 0.01 second you know its the end. But this feeling didn’t just come about. No, its been brewing for days, months, and maybe even years. Other times this feeling of unknown is linked to definite ends, after a breakup, a death, graduating, or finishing a project you dedicated a large portion of yourself too.
No matter the source of “the end” one thing is certain, a part of you is feeling lost, and that’s OK. A part of you has changed, you are forever altered. In that 0.01 second, something happened and you will never be the same. You will be left a little empty, but not for long. It is human nature to search when lost, and you will search, You may not even realize you are searching but eventually you will find something that will fill your soul to the brim. Although you will never forget the times you were left feeling lost, and empty you will be more aware of your wants and needs, more tentative in relationships, and better suited for the rest of the unknown in this life.
Because honestly, we all take things for granted sometimes, the comforts of school, work, relationships make it easy for us to settle into the known. Only when something ends do we truly get to experience the sickeningly beautiful unknown.
Honestly Beautiful Oblivion